Jean-Claude Van Damme will get his kicks in ‘The Final Mercenary,’ however you will not

2021-07-30 20:10:23

Netflix acquired the French-language motion comedy as a result of, properly, why not? However the film proves that having a humorousness about oneself and being humorous could be two fairly various things.

The attract of seeing Van Damme in motion was the plain come-on for this slim car, whose tone approximates a live-action cartoon. Foolish is okay, however silly normally is not.

Van Damme performs Richard Brumère, a legendary secret-service agent nicknamed “The Mist,” who disappeared 25 years earlier. Earlier than that he fathered a son, Archibald (Samir Decazza), who has grown up unaware of his lineage, aside from the immunity association that his dad negotiated with the federal government earlier than dropping out of sight.

When the immunity will get abruptly lifted, Archibald is straight away endangered, drawing Brumère out of the shadows and into his life. However the child proves that the apple can fall a good distance from the tree, responding to threats with fright and flight, not struggle.

Directed and co-written by David Charhon, “The Final Mercenary” gives decidedly low-brow gags and a bizarre mish-mash of characters. The legal who has stolen Archibald’s id and immunity, for instance, is obsessive about the film “Scarface,” continuously quoting and appearing like Al Pacino’s Tony Montana character.

Everybody besides Archibald, in the meantime — together with his buddies Dalila (Assa Sylla) and her brother (Djimo), who’re pulled into the espionage plot — learns that the spy is definitely his long-lost dad, although the father-son bonding is tiresome and strained.

Van Damme tried one thing related a couple of years in the past within the Amazon sequence “Jean-Claude Van Johnson,” and the outcomes right here may be even worse. The whole lot is absurdly excessive besides the uninspired motion sequences, made solely barely extra palatable by the very fact Van Damme’s character endeavors to keep away from killing anybody, even the assassins he winds up pummeling on a number of events.

The supporting solid consists of French veterans Miou-Miou and Valérie Kaprisky, however nothing right here actually works, and a few of the jokes — resembling references to Brumère’s previous sexual prowess — fall to a cringe-worthy stage.

Netflix is more and more counting on worldwide productions to inventory its original-programming cabinets, and Van Damme’s box-office run within the Nineteen Nineties makes him a marketable addition to these efforts.

After about quarter-hour of “The Final Mercenary,” although, even if you cannot do splits like Van Damme the temptation is to separate — and to paraphrase “Scarface,” say goodbye to him and his little associates.

“The Final Mercenary” premieres July 30 on Netflix.

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